Heyy Diary !                                                                                                                       

They wanted to know what I do if Doubt were to creep in.

Umm…. It’s not even a discussion nor a debate. I will win.

Doubt about to get his behind tapped, the same way they used to do it back in the days when we didn’t listen to what mama or papa said. Mann times change and these kids are soo lucky they’re protected from experiencing the power of this extension chord.

“Ouuuuuchhh that stings !” “Ever got beaten with a plant?? “ 

“Lmaoooo but nahh fr fr. Back to what I was saying.”

Who does darkness think it is? Man, I’m walking down, you know, enjoying life and as soon as I am about to do something I always wanted to do. I hear a voice start telling me “I don’t know if this is something you should do. I’m over here telling it, this is something I should do because it benefits me xyz.  

My feelings got stronger and I started thinking of scenarios that just started making me doubt everything I was about to do. Once I stepped back and was aware that Doubt was trying to take over. I clapped back! Wuz Gud? and Doubt lost again.  Like frfr, just 10 minutes ago, I was so excited to do exactly what I wanted to do. Then out of nowhere, I am getting a negative feeling about it. Like be fr, Darkness tryna play with me???  

But sometimes….. Those feelings can be true warnings, so if you're in tune with loving thyself. You’ll be able to recognize how the body truly feels when it’s trying to protect you and the feeling from Doubt when trying to mimic the body's natural warnings.  

But yea, I immediately took back control. Focusing on the positive side of my day. I had to step back and remember what I’m doing right now is part of a blessing I used to cry and pray about. So where I am now is all a part of the journey to help and benefit me. I know what’s right and I know what’s wrong but when I feel something is soo right for me. I don’t want to hear anybody's advice but my own because I’m connected to the source. The source knows me best and knows where my heart truly lies. All I want is peace. With that being said, ima just enjoy the ride and embrace the journey. It can go right, it can go wrong. As long as I don’t give up, I can’t lose, I can only grow. One day, my time will shine and when I’m there, all I can do is look back and remember what it took to get here. This is my breaking out of my quiet girl era and I’m about to enjoy the journey of being what it takes to be the best version of me. I learned from The Atomic Habits by James Clear, that you are your habits. Your identity is built off the habits you consume. So to be the person you want to be, you must do what the person does. Life is all about mimicking others. The only difference is the experience you obtain when you fully enjoy it from the experience of your own. I can’t go in with any expectations but hope for an amazing experience. It’s time to be aware of life, and enjoy it because life is here to teach me, help me, and elevate me. 

XOXO Explozay Stylez                                                                              

PSA: (Fr)fr stands for For Real For Real


Clear, James. Atomic habits: Tiny changes, remarkable results: An easy and proven way to build good habits and break bad ones. Penguin Audio, 2018.

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